On a recent walk in the woods behind my house I was ruminating on a few situations where an aversion to things getting messy seemed to inhibit potentially rich blessing. As I walked and considered this from my own perspective, being someone not averse to having a mess created on just about any level, something a humorous occurred to me.

I often say that our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses, however I have never reversed that concept. Could it be also true that where we see great weakness, there is in that same place a strength? 

Growing up, I had a few nicknames, but the one I remember the most was Messmaker. I think my dad even made up a song about it he would sing me on occasion when in a humorous mood. My mom was a woman who required a reasonably (I don’t think she was extreme) orderly home and kept it livable (not cold or for showroom ready by any means) yet reliably neat and clean. I always loved to help in the kitchen, or even go it alone to try a new recipe as a kid, and I remember her hating to give me permission to cook, because my very presence would leave the kitchen looking like a war zone, and the clean up — even at my very best efforts — would always be subpar for her completely reasonable standards.

Into my adulthood, I don’t value living in chaos and I do what I can to keep my home from being completely out of control, however at some point the deal I make with a few spiders to keep the bugs down ends up in a situation where they invite all their friends in and make condos and villages. By the time I realize it, they’ve taken over and we have to go to the mattresses to wipe them out. I always wonder when it happened… like how did I go from one spiderweb to finding they are everywhere? Last year I picked up a new vacuum that has a headlight on it- I gasped in disbelief as I saw in bright revelation what is actually on the floor I just minutes before tread fearlessly across. I’ve also in recent years been endearingly(?) called a spreader (this was pre-covid and had more to do with projects than viruses) — and I think that relates to the comment well, you’re really good at getting things out…

This is on a physical level, but even on the emotional and spiritual level, I am not afraid to have some things out of place around me (a mess created) if it means a new project, expanding into new territory, or having an adventure. The humorous moment on my walk came when I sensed an unexpected message: 

You thought that being a mess-maker was a weakness, something to be embarrassed about, but in my hands it’s also a strength! You are not afraid of the messes that will come when we engage with projects, relationships, and other things that also bring great blessing! There are many people who are so concerned about things getting out of place or uncomfortable that they shy away from engaging or inviting in things that risk losing control, and often it is those very situations I bring great joy and reward.

I was thinking about relationships, and how letting go of what’s comfortable and reliable to invite someone into a new layer of vulnerability is risky. It’s not only the fact that we cannot control other people, but even in ways we might try, we should not. Free will is so valued by God he will allow people to choose hell (over his dead body), and so how can we rationalize the attempt to take away someone else’s ability to choose? 

That being said, other people operate in ways that challenge us, take us out of comfortable patterns, even cause us great pain, but sometimes these risky relationships can be wonderful and lift us up higher than we would go on our own. Sometimes this lifting up even comes alongside the painful challenges. We are called to love one another, have unity, and be part of the body of Christ. The simple act of committing to a group of believers is risky! The body of Christ at the moment, is made up of other messy humans who can offend us, hurt us, and also lift us up and help us to grow. It’s messy.

I thought back to something as simple as bringing a new puppy home. That was definitely going to create some messy moments, but the joy the long eared, long legged puppy brought, and has continued to bring for the past two years has been exponentially worth the disruption to shoes, home, time, and schedule. I don’t have children, but my guess is each pregnancy and new birth is a huge messy disruption and it can get bigger as time goes on! And still people do it over and over again. 

I’m starting a big project this year that is already overwhelming and I am certain I won’t be able to pull it off alone. Actually, I can think of a couple of these things going on in my life right now way bigger than I’ll be able to pull off solo! It’s going to create messy moments for me, times when I’m not sure what to do, times when I have to navigate less than ideal circumstances, times when things won’t work out right, times when I’ll be depending on other people to do their part and I won’t be able to control how they roll, times when people might disappoint me, unintentionally let me down, or even purposefully make things more difficult, but I know it will be worth it. Engaging in things I can’t control on my own takes trusting that God brought me the opportunities and ideas, that God has given me the resources and tools for a purpose (not just for my own little bubble of enjoyment) and prepared me in advance. I have to know that God will walk me through the (probably messy) terrain, and that God will help me “clean up” in the aftermath and reorganize in order to move forward again.

If I were afraid of the mess that can come from these things, I’d insist on a lot more control over my environment, my schedule, and my life, but the more control I demand to stay in constant “order” the smaller my world will become. I think God wants to enlarge our territory and call us to expand into bigger spaces – not because we need to be important, or have influence, or matter more, but because He has limited children willing to say YES to his potentially messy plans, and it’s how he’s able to bless the world! That is the job of his chosen people- from Abraham on out, it’s not to be chosen for greatness in ourselves, but because he needs someone willing to partner with him to bring his laws, his light, his love, his redemption, his peace… he wants to bless and restore the world here and now. Strangely enough since we are all delicate clay vessels, he’s chosen humankind to be the vehicle to bring these things about. It requires us saying YES to his ideas to be the way heaven is funneled to earth today. I have come to see that he won’t allow us to stay in the comfort control zone AND carry great dreams for long. One will have to go.

I had never considered the fact that I tend toward a messier environment to be a potential strength. Also, I know that God is not a God of chaos and disorder. I am not saying that I should allow my messy tendencies to leave me in a state of perpetual chaos, spider webs, dust bunnies, and allow the hay pieces, wood chips, and dog hair to take over in my home. I actually LOVE a clean and neat house when I can get it there, and I LOVE projects to go smoothly and people to operate the way they say they will, and timelines to work the way I expect, weather to cooperate, and order to reign. My message is not that being messy in itself is a strength, instead it is my lack of fear about losing control over my environment. It is this ability to move forward toward something creative and good (when partnering with God!) that is a strength. It isn’t the habitation in messy environments that is a strength (though the ability to function amidst chaos when necessary IS a strength!), but rather not having a fear that overrides the opportunity for blessing. 

It is a greater freedom that comes when we walk without fear.

Does this idea of holding people or opportunities at arm’s length in order to keep order and avoid things getting messy resonate with you? There is certainly a balance involved, because it is wisdom to decide who to allow into our closest circles, who we will trust with levels of vulnerability, and who will will honor with access to our homes and lives. This is being responsible to the gifts we have been given, but I have watched people destroy and kill off beautiful things by over protecting them. I’ve seen people hurt because of a rigid need for order and control over the environment that is unreasonable to someone who says they trust God to order the universe. I have watched joy, abundance and life starved out of a situation or relationship or thing in the name of protecting and honoring it.

Even I have some limits to this that press into my comfort zone. This fall my horses came to live on my “too small” property. I am pretty certain this was what God was challenging me to do in faith. My worst nightmare was the couple of acres I had of grass would turn into a sloppy horrible mess with three, thousand-pound grazing creatures, especially with winter rain . Truth be told, my worst nightmare has in fact occurred. My “yard-now-pasture” is a sloppy muddy mess after three days of late December rain. Still, as I consider it, I’m pretty sure that God was saying to go ahead and trust him. Messes, you see, can be cleaned up. The land will heal.

As I look at some of the amazing and beautiful fruit that has already come in the two months since I accepted that my horses were coming home, I wouldn’t trade this mess for any of what God has done in connection to it. Right now, I’m standing IN the mess (every time I go outside!) and it is both a worst nightmare, and I find myself laughing in joy because truly, even this, my worst nightmare is really not the end of anything. In fact, it’s a beginning! And leave it to God to challenge me to open a door that becomes a massive beginning with a choice that leads to something even for a Messmaker is pretty darn terrifying. Now that the door is cracked open, I can see an entirely new journey set out there that has possibilities I’d have had a hard time imagining could come from the ability to say YES to the mess I was ushering in. The yard will heal in time. And the echos of what will resonate from my agreement to enter the fray will multiply in the years to come. I’m quite amazed by it!

I have a feeling many of us have a hidden superpower that lies just underneath what appears to be a weakness. Have you considered what yours might be? It might take you into a new year with a new take on something that was embarrassing or held shame before. I will never remember being called Messmaker with the same negative connotation again. Send me a note and tell me what your negative trait or weakness might actually be in light of how God can work through it!