August 1, 2024

This summer I took on a new violin student- I don’t usually take on new students in the summer. Most often, they enroll in my string program to begin in September for the school year season. This family was adamant the girl start as soon as possible, she was ready to go! They seemed committed so I agreed to see her at my house.

She was eager to play the violin, yet I was having difficulty in communicating with her how to hold the instrument and bow in the right places and with flexibility and balance. This is not unusual with a child who is still figuring out how to use her growing and changing body, so I tried to think creatively how to best help her. 

I loved how fascinated she was to make sound on the instrument, even random, wild, rough sounds.

She would take hold of the bow like a club with a tight fist and drag it almost violently back and forth across the violin that sat precariously in front of her on her collar bone- not balanced on the shoulder where it would eventually need to rest in order to move to richer sounds and advanced playing ability.

She was having a good time exploring the crazy non-harmonic noises the violin could make, and in the early stages this exploration and joy is good. It’s also very limited, and in time cacophonous noises won’t satisfy her (or her family) and she will either begin to shape that into form and function that offers more complex and pleasing sounds, or grow tired of the mess and wander off to explore some other fascination of sound or sport.

My job is to help shape her technique and body to support growth in performance so she can, should she so choose, be able to create more intentional sounds that become defined pitches, rhythms and characteristics of actual music. This particular child was proving a challenge for me to shape.

One lesson I tried physically guiding her. I would ask her to let her fingers relax and allow me to set the bow gently into her hand and then to only rest her fingers on the bow stick and allow them to stay loose like limp spaghetti- we would learn to balance the bow in the hand pretending there was an egg in there we didn’t want to squeeze and break!! She tried valiantly making her fingers look like mine as I let them hang loose in the air- only hers were forced into a position and stiff as boards. Eventually I was able to help her hang the fingers loose until I came near them with the bow when they appeared to have a life of their own and reached out to grab the bow and immediately jam down back to club formation. It was as if the very presence of the bow and the eagerness to create any sound at all turned the fingers into stiff gripping prongs when the bow must be balanced gently in the hand to work properly.

Ok… let’s try the violin, on the shoulder… so I asked her to stand quietly and allow me to place the violin where it should rest. Again, the entire body of this girl responded in a way that grabbed the instrument, jammed it back into a forward angle that would not work well for bow movement, and clamp it down, bringing back the bow in a club like grip to maniacally create a wash of tremulous sound that had no hope of organization to it.

I tried to guide her directly, move the violin back into place, and help pull the bow in a way that could begin to make a longer sustained note of one defined pitch. As I did this, instead of relaxing and allowing me to help show her body how it could move, she stiffened, fought against me, and said: I want to do it!! Let me!

In that moment I could see myself. The Holy Sprit right there in my life, watching me explore and create quite a wild noise.. sound and fury! He knows what the potential of music that could be produced from my life, but only if I allow Him to guide me. He can guide me by telling me how to move, and he can guide me by inhabiting my life and moving for me if I can relax, rest, and allow it. Allow the Holy Spirit to move through my life. I could see myself forcing into a club-like grip in my enthusiasm and saying: No! I can do it! Let me!

I want to play beautiful music. I have the same goal as the Holy Spirit does for my life and I’m excited about it. Yet, in my enthusiasm, do I resist and fight against the movement that would bring me in softness and elegance and balance into his will?

If the girl would relax her joints and muscles and allow me to set the violin and move the bow for her she could learn the feel of the unforced rhythms of grace that create a full beautiful sound, pleasing to those around her, and also grow in her ability to play more complex music. It is hard for her to engage in that process yet, but I think she’s a great, bright, though possibly overly independent and enthusiastic young girl, and in time, she will get there. 

I’ve had people ask where I get the patience. I don’t know that I have all that much patience in truth, but in this case, maybe it helps that I see a slight reflection of myself in her!

Lord… help me to release the grip I have on doing it myself, and soften into your hands so that I can learn the feel of a life lived in the unforced rhythms of grace. Amen.